Nara and the Deer

To jump back to August, I mentioned that I went to Nara after Summer Sonic in Osaka. There, we saw a ton of deer just wandering around the city, and since I didn't get to show you before, I thought it was a cute shot and blog-worthy. I also haven't included myself in the blog lately, and of course we have to feature the star of the show.

Monkey Mountain

Well, I just posted one photo, but since it's been forever and since I have a tonne of pictures, why not one more?
Near Beppu there's a big mountain, and on that mountain live a colony of monkeys. They're really cute, and last year during September LeeSean and I went to check them out. There's hundreds of them, swarming all over the place, so it's a bit intimidating. There's also lots of signs saying not to feed the monkeys, make sudden movements toward the monkeys, look directly at the monkeys, or pretty much think about monkeys in any way. You wonder what the monkeys have done to warrant this level of caution. They didn't bug us though, and we got lots of good pictures. Although they did make several children cry by stealing their ice cream cones...always funny!!

Aoyama Senior High

My apologies for the long time between entries, but it's been a busy month, with the accident, and with school being back in and all. I've been slowly starting to figure a way through this car mess, and I've been trying my best to get out and enjoy myself with friends, or risk going psycho from the stress. Throughout the past month, my friends have been unbelievably supportive, and should get a large part of the credit for the fact that my sanity is still (relatively) intact.
Anyway, to make up for the lack of posts recently, I'm going to start doing something new. I'm an avid photographer, and it's been mentioned that I have taken hundreds of photos in my time here. I've only been able to share a fraction of them on here so far, so from now on I'll do my best to post a new one every other day or so, along with a brief caption. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, which makes sense, because most of us prefer pretty (or occasionally scandalous) pictures to big, complicated words. I'll still write the occasional full entry of course, but what I've written so far should give you a good outline of what life is like here. The pictures, I'm hoping, will help to add some color in between the lines and show you in a little more depth what an incredibly beautiful country Japan is.
Firstly, I want to show you (or at least those of you who haven't seen it already) the school I work at, Aoyama Senior High. It's got a decent view of palm trees and a carefully tended collection of other sub-tropical trees from the window of the third floor, which is where I sit. I spend about 35 hours a week here on average, when I'm not at my junior high school, which is usually Tuesday of every week. My junior high rotates every semester, but I've been at Aoyama (Blue Mountain) for over a year now, and (barring any disasters) I'll be there for another year to come.

Japlish, Part 2

Ok, so here it is, the long awaited second addition. I'm happy to announce that the last article I did on this subject made my father laugh so hard he was in tears, and nearly made several of my friends wet themselves. Always gratifying. Also, god knows at this point in my life I could use a good laugh more than anyone. Enjoy!

Signs found on various Tokyo businesses:
"Venom Food and Bar" (Yum yum.)
"Liquor by the Grass or in Cooktail"
"Jive Coffee"
"Fashion vs. Hair" (In Japan, this is just as big as Godzilla vs. Mothra.)

On various stationary:
"My romance. I wish you to taste this woman. A dream makes evolution."
"You can dance the dream with your body on."
"My heart's bouching like a rubber ball."
"Happy Frog - as I come close to dream, my heart throbs."
"Sex, ecstasy, and psychadelic drugs." (I don't know about you, but that's what I think of when buying a notepad.)

On cards:
"European dogs are living freely. It is open and elegantly." (Couldn't tell you the occasion this is for.)
"For you - I always think of your thing." (There's a Hallmark sentiment if I ever heard one.)
"Happy Wedding on your marriage."
"I'll sticky about my favourite things. Very wonderfully and more pleasantly." (There's so much wrong with this one I don't know where to begin.)

A beer company's motto: "Let's beer, anytime, anywhere, all friends come together to drink beer with fun. It's excellent to drink beer with all the people!" (Well they have the right idea anyway.)

On a snack: "Sugar Tits - we present you a special and beautiful stuff for honey man and woman. Tasty...Sugar Tits!" (Not a typo - actual name of snack.)

On a box of cookies: "Made from used apple juice." (Hey, wait a minute, I though those tasted funny...)

In a Tokyo hotel: "It is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing please do not read notice."

Another hotel: "You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid." (I tell you, the service here stops at nothing.)

In a Tokyo bar: "Special cocktail for the ladies with nuts." (I think we're all curious about what kind of bar this is.)

A drycleaner's: "Drop your trousers here for best results." (Wink, wink.)
Another: "Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time."

A dentist's: "Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists." (Religion and dentistry should never mix.)
Another dentist's actual name: "Ouchi Dental Clinic." (I'm guessing not a lot of English-speaking clientele there.)

Actual name of a shop: "Colon Booth." (I didn't ask to see what service they provided.)

Name of a dive shop in Okinawa: "Yellow Dick." (I'd have someone take a look at that, it sounds serious.)

Name of a band: "King Fucker Chicken." (I wonder...did they mean King chicken fucker?)

Above a door: "Emergency Trap." (Maybe I'll try door #2, Bob.)

On a bag: "Sneep Dip" (Any ideas about this one?)
On underwear: "We'll advise you about your stickiness about your daily life."
On a baseball cap: "Aim! We are Superhero for 21th century!" (Whose super-power is clearly not language-related.)
Another cap: "You look like chimp." (I'd wear this.)
On a woman's shirt, in really big letters: "GAY." (LeeSean would wear this.)
On various other T-shirts: "I am plump Mary."
"Snot House."
"Circuit Beaver."
"We're Bone Nob. We're Happy our Original Dance."
"Nurse Mentality."
"We hope to always have an open."
"Naughty power give me many courage."
"Is it a dear cat? Is it a kind called what?" (What indeed.)
"You are not alone. Blow a big future dream." (It started out OK...)
"Spread Beaver."
"Boneractive Wear." (I'd wear this too.)

The Accident - My Side of Things

Well in case the title didn't tip you off, or if you haven't heard it through the grapevine, I was in a car accident. It was luckily minor, and I'm fine, physically. As you might expect though, my stress level has shot through the roof. I decided that venting a little here would help, so I'll give you a blow-by-blow of the night in question, as well as the results to date. I know I promised you more Japlish last time, but this has gotta take precedence, sorry.
So this all began when I promised to do a favor for LeeSean. When he left, he was unable to sell his car and so I agreed to do it for him. Since he left it in Nakatsu, I had to take the train there and drive it back to Beppu so I could show it to potential buyers. That night (Friday September 1st), I was also taking Tash with me to Beppu so that we could go to Miyazaki the following morning. My friend Sophie is leaving Japan, and I wanted to say goodbye, but needless to say we didn't make it there. As we were driving through Usa on the way to Beppu, we were going through a stoplight and came up to some traffic. I stopped my car just past the light, about 2 meters behind the next car. Then, it looked as though traffic was beginning to move, so I let my foot off the brake and tapped the gas. At the same time, Tash said something to me and I turned my head for a moment to respond. At that moment, the van ahead of me stopped rather suddenly, and before I had time to apply the brake we had crunched into her rear. Not the smartest move ever, I know, but these things do happen.
I'll try to abbreviate what happened next, but it was a long, long evening. First, the lady in the van got out and started yelling at us, so I nodded, not understanding anything of course. I understood her shock, so I didn't mind so much that she was angry, and I was actually relieved that she seemed unhurt. Then, we looked at the damage, and thankfully it was minor to both cars, so naturally I assumed that the issue would be resolved quickly. I realize now what a silly mistake that was. In the picture you'll see the back of her car, and although it doesn't look like much, her rear tail-light was broken and there was a dent in the rear panel. I have since discovered that the repairs to this will cost me about $2,600 Canadian. ?#*^!! I REALLY think I'm geting screwed on this one.
After the accident, the police were called, and after 15 minutes or so they arrived. I had, in the meantime, called my supervisor, Kato-sensei, who informed me she was coming with the school's vice-principal, Kyoto-sensei, but that it would take half an hour to arrive from Beppu. In the meantime, Tash and I were trying to explain things to the police in broken Japanese, but in the end were unable to give much more than our names. Luckily, one of Tash's co-workers was driving by, who saw Tash, and stopped to help. This was a lifesaver until Kato-sensei and Kyoto-sensei arrived. When they got there, we had given a rough version of events to the first set of police, but a second set soon arrived and we had to tell it all again. Even with Kato-sensei translating, it took about an hour to tell them what I just described above. Then, another set of police arrived, and it took another 45 minutes or so to tell them what happened.
The reason for this, I feel, is twofold: when trying to explain things as I remembered, I was frequently interrupted by the lady from the other car, who naturally wanted to ensure that she was blameless, and that it was clearly understood that I was driving like a raving lunatic. This I understood without knowing much Japanese. Secondly, the police needed frequent pauses to question everything I said, which were usually followed by lengthy explanations as to why what I said couldn't possibly be true, most of which I couldn't understand.
Then, after the police left, there was about a half-hour where the other woman grilled my colleagues about whether or not I could pay for everything. They assured her very politely that I could (which remains to be seen, probably not) and then we all made our separate ways. I was informed the woman would check into the hospital the next morning, and that my colleagues and I would meet her there to discuss things further.
The next day, at my school, there was a meeting in which my colleagues assured me they would help me with the process (thank GOD), and then off to the hospital we went. There, I presented my new friend with some candies, and apologized as sincerely as could be managed through a translator. This took roughly another 4-5 hours, as we had to drive an hour there and back. I slept most of the drive, because the night before, due to stress, I had slept for perhaps 30 minutes.
On Monday, you can imagine how delighted I was to discover that despite my efforts to explain things to the police, they had ignored the fact that the other woman stopped too quickly, and assigned me 100% of the blame. Bad. However, I also learned that the mandatory insurance was still good on the car, which will cover her medical costs and time lost from work. Good. Unfortunately, LeeSean had let the optional insurance on his car lapse, meaning that I have to pay for all the damages to both cars. Bad. Further, although her health is covered, there is a chance I have to pay these costs up front and will get paid back eventually. Worse. In total, the estimate is that I will have to pay about 1,000,000 yen. For those of you joining us back in Canada that's roughly 10,000 dollars. Bloody hell.
To be blunt, there is no way I could even afford a third of this up front, as it would represent more than my monthly salary. I am hoping some kind of compromise can be reached, or I may be completely, utterly and royally ruined by what amounts to a minor traffic accident. This certainly says a lot for the insurance system in Japan.
Personally, I would rather commit ritual suicide than take on more debt, not that anyone would lend me any money. Right now I'm waiting, and hoping against hope, that the country I have served happily for over a year now doesn't end up ruining my life for years to come. I'd love to end on a positive note here, but unless someone calls in the next few minutes telling me I won the lottery, I think we'll just have to wait and see.